Real Talk: Interview With A Camgirl

Webcamming – a profession for some, a side job for others, and stigmatized by many. But why? A quick google search brings up multitudes of websites to watch camgirls, but hardly anything exists about them or their profession. Webcamming is hardly a secret these days, and yet it’s one of the best-kept secrets of online sex media. I have the unique advantage of knowing a camgirl quite personally, and she was gracious enough to agree to an interview. The thing is, i had high hopes for this article; i wanted to include stats, links, references, heck – maybe even a table or two. But i found exactly…nothing, and that was more shocking to me than the fact that many people have turned to camming as their profession.

For many, it’s something easy and fun to do to earn some extra cash; maybe you need a bill paid each month, maybe you need to pay for school. Maybe you rely on this income for all of your living expenses, and enjoy some of the perks of the job on the side, like getting stuff sent to you free of charge by your admirers. This feels completely ridiculous to have to say, but camgirls are people too; what’s the point in bashing someone you know for being proud of what they do? Are you stigmatising them because they’re masturbating, because they’re “showing off,” or because you still harness some kind of prejudice against a girl in her underwear on the internet? In the spectrum of sex-positivity, camgirls seem to get lost in the folds. This, to me, is unfair -because think about it: camgirls emblemize body positivity, sex positivity, and self love, all in one.

So why don’t we talk about webcamming?

z: Why did you decide to start camming?

“The first initial reason for me was the matter of money. What was something I could do that made me feel like I was in control of my own schedule, and that I could do that’d make me more money than working a “normal” job would? And then the matters of both self-esteem and anxiety came into play. What could be something that might give me a boost of confidence?Working normal jobs has always left me feeling drained. And even doing the most mundane thing, like having to make an important phone call, or even just talking to a customer, would leave me shaking with anxiety. I know that seems ironic. “Shouldn’t being naked and performing on camera be more nerve-wrecking than working at a coffee shop?” In all honesty, sex as a whole has always felt so completely natural to me. The thought of camming made me feel like I could both execute and embrace my sexuality in a safe setting… There was hardly a second thought.”

z: Camming obviously requires a certain amount of confidence. Have you found that you feel more confident after performances?

Has it helped you achieve greater confidence in your overall personality?

“In real life, I’m really not that confident. You would think that, in order to do this, you’d have to be the most confident girl/boy in the world, but that isn’t always the case.

When I go online, it’s almost as if I am playing a part. I don’t have to worry. My viewers don’t know me as the “shy and awkward girl” – to them, I can be a reliever of their stress, the girl of their dreams, even someone just to talk to. Knowing I make people feel good, makes me feel good. And as somebody who has always been iffy about their appearance, it is definitely a confidence booster to hear such nice things. After a good show, I’m always very excited and proud of myself.”

z: It seems like sometimes it might require even more courage to just tell people about your job than to actually do the job itself. How do you deal with the stigma attached to the your job? To sex work in general?

“I am very defensive of sex workers. Not everybody wants to do the average nine to five, and I don’t see a problem with that. Sex is human nature, and I think it is both rude and old-fashioned to diss somebody due to their line of work. At times I do get a little down. I don’t get to tell a people when I had a really good night working, or that I’m doing a great job making money for myself. I have to be silent, because sex workers are not accepted. Nobody roped me into this – It is my choice to perform, and I do get offended when somebody insults me for doing something I genuinely enjoy doing, or advises me to “get a real job.”

z: Has anyone really flat out told you to get a real job? What did you tell them?

“While nobody has said word for word to “get a real job,” I’ve received numerous, obvious nudges from different individuals. “Maybe you should work at ___,” or, “this is your ONLY job? I think you’d be so good at ___; you should do that instead…” and it kind of hurts my feelings. I’ve replied that I appreciate their suggestions, but at this point in my life, I’m very happy doing just what I’m doing. I feel that I make enough money to live comfortably, and wouldn’t want to trade both my independence and enjoyment for a lower-income job that makes me feel stressed.

z: Did camming live up to your expectations?

“It’s easy to get discouraged, especially in the beginning. Currently, I’m making the most I’ve made since having this job, but I wouldn’t have gotten here had I not kept it up, continued practicing, and established relationships with my viewers. From here, I feel like I can only get better.”

z: It takes a lot of work to make a sustainable living off cam work. Any other ventures you’ve considered pursuing?

“I definitely want to dive into the world of phone sex as well, as I’ve had so much practice with this job. I’ve considered pornography for awhile, as well, but feel like that would happen a little further down the road.”

z: Is there a sense of community among the other performers, or is mostly independent?

“I do not talk to any other cam girls. I don’t want to, because I know it would make me compare myself. I do that enough in everyday life already, and I hate the thought of that feeling carrying over to my working life. I do what I do for me, and I try hard to focus on myself and how I’m doing over anything else.”

z: Do you feel like there is a lot of comparison going on between cam girls?

“I guess I wouldn’t know outright, as I try to keep as far away from watching, talking to, or seeing other cam girls on social media as I can. But I can see that being true, as the whole reason I’ve kept myself away from that is to avoid making comparisons myself. Surprisingly, I’ve had many viewers tell me, “You’re the best/kindest/most fun to watch on this site/you should be making more money than all the others; they’re so snobby and stuck up!” And that has left me with both a feeling of proudness and discomfort… I’m happy to receive validation that I’m legitimately good at what I do, but if that’s true, than why AREN’T I making as much as the so-called snobby girls supposedly do? It’s things like that which lead me to my own affirmation: It’s a lot more fun and a lot easier to do and enjoy my job without outside factors and comparisons coming into play.”

z: What is your favorite thing about your job? Least favorite?

“I think my favorite part of my job is the empowerment I feel. I have regulars who are very supportive of me and it makes me happy to make money the way I do. It is not all about looks – It’s about personality, and I love it when I get complimented on that even more so than when I get complimented on my body.

My least favorite is definitely the few users who have power/ego trips. It’s annoying when somebody is persistent, or adamant about me doing things I don’t want to, or asking me to engage in acts without even paying me. Those are the types who require the block button.”

z: Do you feel like camming has altered or contributed to your perspective on feminism, sexism, etc?

Definitely. A few of my male friends who know what I do, have said that they wish they could do my job, too, but that it is so male-targeted/female-dominated, that they probably wouldn’t make much money. I guess I do think it’s kind of cool that it is such a female oriented business. Others think of camming AS sexist, which I just don’t understand! There are the assumptions that, as a cam girl, you’re just adhering to the whole “women are just objects” thing. I’ve never thought of it that way at all… Yes, I am being watched for the purpose of sexual pleasure, but it’s all by choice, and it’s just fun! We are all sexual beings.. and, contrary to popular belief, not everyone treats me like something they just toss aside. Through this, I’ve made several good friendships with people who treat me like a human being.”

z: What is the “craziest” thing you’ve done on camera?

“I guess there are two things in particular that come to mind with this! This act isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (pun intended?), but, peeing in a cup seems to be a favorite of some of my regulars lately. A few have asked me to drink it. (I have. Not my favorite thing to do, if we’re being honest, but I am totally comfortable with doing this every once and a while, as it pulls in the bucks and I suppose I’m adventurous. As long as you’re healthy, I don’t see a problem with it. Probably the kinkiest act I’ve engaged in thus far).

The second thing was being proposed to have sex with my boyfriend on camera for a private session with a user. I’ve done that, too. It really wasn’t that weird.”

z: Is there anything that you absolutely will not do?

“I’ve done some pretty eyebrow raising things by choice, but I will not engage in anything that involves excrement. (Luckily, I haven’t been asked to do that)! I am also not a fan of any throwing up, which I have been proposed to do before, as well (I turned that one down).”

z: Do you have any favorite toys? Favorite lingerie?

“Yes! Toys are a little more expensive, so I don’t get new ones too often, but I’m very particular to my pink, 7-vibration-styles magic wand as of late.

I have been acquiring lots of lingerie, over the past few months especially. I have a very nice and supportive online friend who buys me things nearly every week by choice. Lately, I’ve really been in love with these two items: https://www.amazon.com/Slocyclub-Womens-Cheeky-Hipster-Panties/dp/B01GRRSMRC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481049158&sr=8-1&keywords=womens+sexy+cheeky+lace+open+bum (Super cute and always surprises my viewers), and this item as well: https://www.amazon.com/SeClovers-See-through-Lingerie-G-string-SetBlackOne/dp/B01FM6UDKS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481049215&sr=8-1&keywords=seclovers+womens+see+through  (I always feel super cute in this, and my boyfriend loves it, too. It’s just very flattering)!”

z: Has camming affected your sex life?

“Yes, it has. There have been instances in which we can’t be intimate when we want to, because I’m too tired or too sore from having worked. That’s gotten a bit frustrating. But it hasn’t ruined my sex life.  I have a very healthy one, and I attribute that to being in a good relationship with somebody who understands. Camming and having sex are two very different things that, while still in the same vein, are completely opposite. I engage in sex for a reason that is different than why I cam, and I’ve learned how to separate the two.”

z: Where would you like to go from here?

“I would just like to get as good as I can. To continue using my attributes to the best of my ability, and to be a little more authoritative over the few users who feel as if I owe them something.

I would also like to be able to talk openly about this more – I want my line of work to be more accepted, and to not be viewed as some sort of taboo or trashy thing. (If somebody is camming, it’s probably because they want to).”

z: Biggest three pieces of advice for someone starting out?

“The three most important things I can  think of to teach are:

  • Safety is crucial. There are lots of creeps out there, and if anyone says anything in the slightest that makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to block them. Don’t ever reveal your real name or exact location. It’s okay to lie about certain things if it means protecting yourself!
  • Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not doing something you aren’t comfortable with with. There’s a line between being dominant, and just being a jerk. Usually you can tell the difference. No amount of money is worth your discomfort. 🙂
  • And of course, make sure you get paid before you do anything for anyone. There are many methods available for payment (PayPal, SquareCash, etc) outside of your site’s payment arrangement. Be aware of scammers. They’re usually easy to spot, but sometimes people are stealthy… I’ve learned that the hard way!

Another last bit of advice I emphasize is to only cam if you enjoy it! You may try it and find that it’s just not your thing… Don’t let that make you feel guilty or inadequate. If you decide to call it quits, the site admins will be more than understanding. And if you have concerns, most sites have numbers you can call. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and always let your personality shine!”

z: Anything else you’d like to say about camming?

“Camming is a wonderful way to make money if you are comfortable with it. And if you’re not, that’s alright. I’ve been doing it for nearly nine months now. I’m still learning a lot, but I feel camming is continuing to make me feel like I am allowed to be empowered by something like this. It’s just who I am, and I don’t think I should hide such a large part of my being. :)”

Names, links, and other means of identification have been omitted from this interview for privacy purposes. No answers have been edited. All views disclosed are strictly those of the interviewee.

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