Just What The Internet Needs: Another Womanizer Review

Here for the nitty-gritty? Keep scrollin’ to get to the good stuff.

No time to read the big ol’ wall of text down there? Here are the basics.

 

  • ABS plastic handle. Detachable silicone head.
  • Comes in different patterns so you can find the right shade of ugly to suit your taste!
  • Roughly $170, depending on the retailer.
  • Not waterproof.
  • Comes with: usb charger, wall adapter, second silicone head attachment, and a firm, zippered pastel pink case (with compartments!)
  • This brought me the closest i’ve ever been to an orgasm, ever, and i’m generally anorgasmic with a slew of health issues. So….…..cooooool!

 

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

  • Womanizer – Why in the world is this name you decided on? First, just ew. Ew. “Womanizer” is not a name that anyone should ever, ever use to refer to anything even remotely within the realm of sex-positivity. Not only that, with a name like “womanizer,” if that was the only thing i knew about the toy, right off the bat i’d expect it to “handle” me in a gross, violent, emotionally-vacant kind of fashion. I repeat: EW. The toy claims to be invented by woman and i’m seriously questioning who, exactly, decided on what to call this toy. Henceforth the toy shall be referred to simply as the “W,” because the term “womanizer” grosses me out, and perpetuates ideals that i ain’t tryin’ to reinforce.
  • Something the internet has already firmly established: It’s reminiscent of an ear thermometer – a gaudy, cheetah-print one with a giant rhinestone button. For those familiar with the W already, you’re probably well-aware of the fact that most people think it’s hideous. Personally, i kinda like it – but then again, i’m into those ridiculous sequined sweaters from the late 80s that are frequently found at thrift stores. To each their own, though (luckily the W comes in many different patterns).
w100-front
just look at this weird fuckin’ thing

THE DEETS

  • The product itself is about 6.5 inches in length and has about a 2 inch circumference. It’s remarkably lightweight – if you’re used to other high-quality toys of a heavier weight, this might be somewhat off-putting to you, but don’t let it bother you too much. Personally i like the lightness; it’s more comfortable to hold in the long run. Besides, this thing makes a serious impact. Included in the nice, zippered case (my favorite shade of pink, but i’m planning on putting a sticker over the part that says “Womanizer,” blech), you’ll find a charging cable and USB-compatible wall adapter, along with a second silicone head for the toy. The W is tucked snugly in there, as well.
  • The detachable head is made of quality silicone. It feels nice and smooth to the touch, and looks softer than it is – it takes a bit of a grip to get it to squish. I find that i don’t need lube to use it, but i have tried it, and it didn’t really impact the feeling for me in any noteworthy fashion. The handheld portion is ABS plastic.
  • Don’t submerge it! There are claims to it being “splash-proof” floating around the internet *cough*amazon*cough* but i wouldn’t dare. The head itself is removable, so clean it that way. The toy is also safe to wipe down with a damp cloth or wipe.

IN USE

I’ve found it to be most comfortable held with the longer handled portion pointing up towards me, which puts my thumb right about where that giant rhinestone button is. For some, this could be a deterrent because it increases the chance of hitting the button on accident – which i have done, but it doesn’t bother me because when i WANT to push the button, there’s no fumbling around to find it in order to do so. The W is recommended to be held in place over the clitoris. The silicone head it came attached with fit me nicely, but i believe there’s another size option out there if you find it isn’t quite right for you. As far as my anatomy is concerned, my clitoris is decently hidden beneath my labia, and i’ve found i have to do a bit of wiggling and searching to get it in place properly. Their advice to you in the user manual is basically that you’ll just know when it’s in the right spot – which if you’re able to hear it, yes, the toy gets a lot quieter when it’s hangin’ out where it’s supposed to. This means that it is “sealed” around your clitoris. My clit isn’t really the type to be all like “hey whassup!” and i usually have a hard time getting it up even when my brain feels aroused. Whether this has to do with my endometriosis, sexual identity, depression, or sex anxiety…well, to be honest it’s probably all of those things. If you’ve read any of my posts up to this point, you’ve at least been introduced to the fact that I don’t really crave sex all that often. I know there have been times where i’ve felt my clit in a naturally aroused state, but those times are unfortunately faint memories for me. I’m certain that this lack of [readiness?] contributes to my difficulty in getting the toy situated, but even if i miss the mark, it still feels pretty good.
The toy doesn’t rely on vibrations to stimulate you. It pulses air to create a light suction, resulting in what some feel as a very slight vibration – this is nice, but it isn’t vibrating. The W100 version of the W has three modes, the first being very light, and the last being…less light? More powerful? It’s hard to discern the power of the toy by pressing it to your hand or a fingertip, but your clitoris is better equipped to pick up on the subtleties of its functions, given that, ya know, the clit’s waaay more sensitive than a fingertip in most cases. Also, the W head is not really designed to fit a fingertip. It’s designed to fit a clit (fit-a-clit, heh heh, god forbid someone decides that’s a good name for something…).

THAT’S GREAT AND ALL, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORGASMS?

Let’s be clear: as of today, as of both writing and posting this post, as of your reading this post unless I have otherwise revised it,

I have never had an orgasm.

To be honest, 60% of the purpose of this blog is to document – and share – my Anorgasmic Odyssey. This toy, in all of it’s cheetah-printed, bedazzled, otoscopic glory, has brought me the closest i’ve ever, ever, ever come to an orgasm. For several years, i’ve felt so, incredibly broken. I’ve taken myself through the wringer, folks; sexuality, disease, mental illness – i’ve cursed and cried and despaired, feeling like something was wrong with me for being unable to orgasm. I have learned and accepted that there are many factors contributing to my preorgasmic state – and most importantly, i have learned that IT IS OKAY.

If you have not orgasmed, if you feel like you can not, THAT. IS. O. KAY. If you follow the big Os like Randy Marsh follows the purple dragon, GOOD FOR YOU! But listen, no matter what, you are not broken. I had to learn that about myself.

And now i feel ready to move on, and i want to orgasm, damn it!

So, back to the W.

I’ve used it with my partner; in our play, i’m not sure it fits in. The way my partner used the thing – at my request, yes – was just too much for me. It was this first night using it that i realized i may have a fear of orgasm. We got DAMN close; my body was beginning to jerk, I was grabbing the pillows and sheets for dear life, but just before that crucial moment, i pushed the toy away. I wasn’t ready. There were alarm bells blaring in my mind. It all came to a screeching halt, and I pushed every sexual thought waaay down into the depths of my brain. I cried a little. We hugged. We went to sleep. I’ve tried to research into that mental block that some people have – and, i really feel that i am afraid to orgasm. There’s probably a bunch of shit going on inside my brain that has to do with peer pressure and social norms and my history-of-not-climaxing, but i’ll spare that stuff for now.

Since that first night, i’ve found that i prefer to use the toy by myself. I suspect that it would be great for edging, and would probably fit into some other forms of play that involve teasing, cumming, etc. For me, for now, i prefer to lay in the semi-darkness, get comfy, watch something arousing, and hang out with my lil oto-esque pal. In this fashion i have been trying to coax an orgasm out of myself – in conjunction with meditation, deep breathing, all that jazz. Bringing my mind to a serene place. Yadda yadda yadda. And, it’s almost worked, a few times! The times that i’ve felt it almost-working were ones where i accidentally hit the button to increase the intensity. So it was more like, “SURPRISE! YOUR MUSCLES ARE REACTING!” And i’m like “O SHIT,” and i knock it off real quick before it can go any further. Attempts to sneak-attack myself have proven futile; it has to be a genuine accident for that method to work. I like that it doesn’t happen right away though, because it is suuuper relaxing to just chill and let it do it’s thing. Even if i weren’t trying to orgasm, i would really enjoy this. Since my bullet vibe died, this has been my go-to for chillin’ because i’m too lazy and broke to buy new watch batteries. And i’m seriously so close to an orgasm you guys, it’s not even funny. I did attempt to bring in an insertable vibe once – it wasn’t really my jam. I prefer the W by itself, though it didn’t obstruct the vibe at all. Also, it hasn’t obstructed PIV sex either, just in case you wondering.

So yeah, there’s that. Get this if you have the budget for it, if you have a clitoris and – like me – you’re trying for an orgasm, or if you have a clitoris and you looove to orgasm. I recommend this toy often to customers who come in the shop asking me which product is most worth the money, and i truly do believe that this one is.

Also, i’m curious to see how the air pulses would feel on a penis- the head or the frenulum specifically. I dunno, I’ll see if my partner’s willing to experiment with that. I suspect it won’t do much, but if the sensitivity is heightened enough, maybe? I will update with any findings. I’m all about trying to find a way for everyone to be included!

The opinions disclosed within this review are 100% those of the writer, and are not in any way influenced by any external motivators, monetary or otherwise.

Whoops! This model is discontinued 😦 You can purchase the next version, the W500, at Good Vibrations – I have yet to try it but hopefully i will get a chance to in the near future, and of course will share my thoughts with all of you when i can!

Affiliate links have been used in this post.

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